Quite Unparlimentary

Dear Parlimentarians,
I write this letter to you as I recover from the first surgery of my gall bladder. I have been resting in my home for past two weeks to recover from a medical procedure which can affect the way I eat and sleep for the rest of my life. Nonetheless to say - my confidence says that I will live and come out of this unscathed and once again march onto my daily life in order to support my dreams, family and fellow countrymen through the salary taxes I pay. I know that in not so distant land, there will be much poorer and sick people of India who would like to believe in your thoughts of governing this nation of ours. Every day we wake up to pray that our leaders will give us the world we all desire and contribute for. I and my fellow countrymen are hopeful that one day, our leaders will think of things which are important apart from abuse against each other in the epitome of democracy - that the money which we as tax payers slave our lives in order to earn - will be utlized properly and not wasted upon. That our beloved leaders will realize that they have been elected to give us the economic and social freedom. That horse trading and arm twisting is best left to bull fights and dignity of parliment is unto you to maintain. That throwing showcase money into the ring is just another cheap way of further publicity. With due respect, I loved gujrat for it's marvellous infrastructure and people when I visited it. It was a shame that nation burned just because we mistrusted our own people and killed them instead of roundtables that India is so famous for. Today, 'O' fellow great countrymen and parlimentarian and the leader of middle class and sadly the perpetrator of hate politics, I cannot forgive you for allowing the dignity of my nation being harrased in front of entire world - a world which gave us the opportunity to stand on our feet again. Only you and your cheap antics could have given this - I today declare that when next general elections come in - you shall be prosecuted in streets for the bloodshed you carved in Babri/Godhra and that your idealogies will be wiped away from the history book as well till the time you do not apoligize to us as nation. I have a big heart and have forgiven people who have cheated on my personal life - but today was the drag you yourself called.
As Rahul Gandhi said - we are a powerful and young country and have no reason to fear - as our actions will determine how the world is impacted and not how the world impacts us.
Dear parlimentarian - you have lost the support of the middle class today.

Ummm....I am busy

I am busy....busy with what?
No answer...Knock...Knock...why don't you leave me alone?
Well...but you don't seem to do anything?
Then why should I leave you alone? If there is nothing you are doing then why don't you do this for me?
Well...is it nesscary to do something actionable...Can't I be busy mentally? I could be thinking somehow? Isn't that reason enough to be busy.....
Everyday...we seem to be lost on our way thinking about something or other when that chain is disturbed by somebody who doesn't care....busy is a syndrome most people suffer from...given a chance everybody would like to be free and do nothing...yet get to travel and do everything that they want to...Freedom is at a cost...so my dear you have to face these ironic questions everyday...till the day you wish to live no longer and loose yourself in the myrad of craziness and translation...but truly? What is freedom?
If courage is to create a dream of your own...then Martyrdom is to follow it...Freedom is to experience the both...why? Dream we all do...but don't go down the path of it everytime...follow the dream...we all do...but it is almost everytime somebody else's dream...so when you think aloud about what you really see and that sight is something you follow...it's like a mirage...a water pump in the mid of desert...you get your freedom...but it comes at a cost...
look around the people whom you have heard about...MG followed it and was gunned down at a age when India was forming....Nelson mandela spent some 17 years in Jail....Dhirubhai Ambani/Warren Buffet spent some 20 years of thier youth to follow their dreams...
Freedom is an idea...an idea of your own self...it can't be created overnight...it's a chain of thought culminating in a feeling of long lasting selfishness....myself - I am still busy thinking about it...that's why don't disturb me more? when I get the answer I will tell you about it....

How you do it also matters

Last night was hilarious as only it can get....My wife has this amazing scare of cockraoches which instantly reminds me of Sreedevi's soul searching cry in Mr. India...Well - the story first ----
We had just touched down from a home shopping spree and cafe rendezouvous in Mocha...It was a rainy and a beautiful evening...
Alas, there it ended when we entered the Kitchen for keeping some stuff.. Priyanka cried out and in a second was on the adjacent Dining table as if some ghost from darkness has taken her over..I got scared and immiediately danced towards the window to run for cover. I shouted what the hell happened? and in a moment of looking through her eyes I realized it was the cockroach scare. Having spent last one year of my marriage (oh gosh it has been long!!!) killing these pesty idiots, I have become habituated by the idea of taking my slipper off and then just kill these antenna friends from my basement lab...This time I did the same - but it was yuck - it was a bloody affair with my kitchen slab resembling a shootout zone (ok - I am exaggerating a bit - ok a lot)...Then with pride as if a Man has just come back from a great hunt - I exclaimed - it's killed Honey..You can come inside. This time I really expected a thanks note atleast from her. I have been her saviour from the pointed eyes of small beast...What do you think I got?
She entered the kitchen and instantly made the worst nauseatic face I have ever seen... Ghosh...it was terrible - Life can make you yo-yo from hero to zero....
Lesson - Never kill a cockroach on Kitchen slab, run it down and then kill it with a spray or a mop...In this world of expectations, deed isn't the only thing which will make your woman take you as a hero...How you do it also matters....as always!!!

What the Hell

How many times have you cried out in life - What the hell?
I do it almost every other day...it is really becoming a habbit of mere frustation on traffic...on helpless condition of our cities....on somebody in office who will always want to escape work...
of somebody in a pub being a nuisance...of watching a bad movie...of listening to some idiotic review...of watching India lose from position of strength (wud be the most one)...of fight with someone you love....of watching everything go bad when it is not supposed to...list goes on...
Well - to tell you frankly - I have heard thousand of ppl say that take it easy and there is no hell...
Answer - shut up and just shout WHAT THE HELL? when u r angry...don't bottle anything...and let the bad wine flow out....easy...it helps me relax and forget that something bad happened which I could not control...so next time a btful gal in a downtrodden pub turns down your drink - say WHAT THE HELL and offer someone else the drink....wat say?

Love and it's pitfalls

One of the best lines I heard from somebody is that love is eternal...yes it is...but is love eternal or the person you love is eternal?
Don't know what it is but certainly one thing is clear - love is not ambigious...either it is there or not...I had thousand of crushes in my life...who doesn't?
But somebody reciprocated and I held on to it as it is love? What if she hadn't responded?
It would have been among my thousand crushes....Would I have then lived on with somebody?
Yes, Yes...I would have fallen in love again...then what is love?
Is it just a feeling of care for someone? I never believed in it...what? No...love is respect and admiration....as my wife would say - respect is earned and not forced on...then I ask her - is it so?
I asked myself one question - Do I respect myself?
I think I do...never let my emotions go through when I could have easliy allowed to...why?
The other thing was not worth the pain of seeing someone cry because of me...not allowing anyone to use me...nor giving anything to anybody which was less than my capabilites...Honour of doing everything honestly....Yes, sirs and Ma'm - I respect myself....
I love myself....everything around becomes wonderful...I can love anyone I want to...coz I know I will never dishonour myself...
Pitfall is when I admire someone - should I call it love again? Knock...Knock...

Just going crazy

Few things first....

1. Never create a life which you don't want to live in.
2. Always think that you are the chosen one
3. Believe that everyhing will be alrite...no matter how hard you try to make it bad...
4. There is no god..and only illusion...you can create one...it's simple - just dream..
5. Perfection is about learning how to be imperfect and mastering that art...
6. There is no difference between you and Bill gates - only you percieve it to be...
7. Destiny is what you desire the most but don't have belief in...coz you can't just imagine it to be planned...
8. Master card can't buy you love, happiness and the finest sex - it is free
9. Thats it I am getting out of this - you were never real into it...but somehow followed other's life...
10. Courage is to create a dream of your own...and martyrdom is to follow it...

Have a good nite?
Well, sun give light but doesn't decide what is day or night?

Googling Out Google

Just a few questions to start with…..

What is Google?

How does Google work?

Probably the first question, most of you would have answered by now or guessed (if that is the case, then seriously dude, you need to go to a well and die a well deserved death).

The second question, although majority would know the answer; but let me just explain to those minority as well. As any search engine does Google dishes out the pages on its list on popular demand via a technique known as demography. The technique uses the population sample to determine the rankings of the internet sites most widely hit and read. (Democracy at work here as well.) The essence of Google is not only that it’s search is more wide (akin the database) but it is the biggest brand in it’s field of business. Yes, it is branding that is making it tick. The bigger the brand, more the usage
And more the varied search. Note, here the emphasis is on Variety of search because the crux of Google Coding and Programming is only it’s open ended approach to the problem of finding the correct match for keywords. That’s why they keep hiring more and more intelligent brains to replace their old search methods (hard coded.)

Coming back to the old query: How does Google ranks the sites? As explained earlier, it is pure democracy at work. Does this make your Algo writing skills tick in open?

No, try this, any search engine programming crux lies in simple “If (x>y)” where x, y would be variable values of hits to the site. Hence, it is the intricate measure of these simple statements that makes the heart of a search engine tick. The output we get is the page ranking. Of course, many search engines (as in the case of Google) have sponsored links as well. But heck, if they start forming the chunk of the search outputs then nobody would care to log on and search the most widely viewed site. It would be just like having food on a party whose menu has already been decided by someone else (note a single entity) and not by a democratic system. (Don’t we love democracy?).

Simply put, Google is no different. It works on the same logic train. It is just more sophisticated, recognized and trusted.

Since, we are through those two questions. Let’s move on to the Crux of this write up.

HOW TO MAKE GOOGLE FAIL?

Sounds tough; try this theory: The failing of Google code would occur when a virus is embedded in it’s architecture that makes the hits of all sites in the database equal. That is to say that everything in the domain of Google should become quasi static…i.e. the code should have enough processing speed to take care of the imbalances that occur on the millisecond time basis on it’s programming code (remember if comparisons.) For, example if two sites have same hits then a search engine can’t display both of them on it’s page rank. Agreed, these things would be occurring on a daily basis in it’s architecture (HOW DOES IT COUNTER THEM? Haven’t you noticed that some sites are just arranged alphabetically) but when you do this on a complete basis across all it’s domain then what you will get is simply a hanged page or alphabetically arranged listing of sites. Is that fun? Remember your days of Dictionary search? Google is a better engine as it relies on Peer reviews to push forward an idea for common people.

But again the question is? How do you write this virus?

Simple: Copy Google’s code (which you won’t get from anywhere coz dude itz right protected, hence you might have to design Google by yourself) and replace all count statements with null and void. This would make the counting stand still for a few days and make the host vulnerable to future attacks. Once counting stops, just hack the page and replace all comparison (IF) statement with True conditions. This would make everything appear as static and Balanced..i.e.nothing is comparable.
Google will end.

Don’t try this at home……A serious warning…You are liable to be prosecuted by NSA as Google for them is the biggest Secret weapon for listing Cryptographic details of those criminally minded. How? Watch out for this space…..we shall continue….