Ummm....I am busy

I am busy....busy with what?
No answer...Knock...Knock...why don't you leave me alone?
Well...but you don't seem to do anything?
Then why should I leave you alone? If there is nothing you are doing then why don't you do this for me?
Well...is it nesscary to do something actionable...Can't I be busy mentally? I could be thinking somehow? Isn't that reason enough to be busy.....
Everyday...we seem to be lost on our way thinking about something or other when that chain is disturbed by somebody who doesn't care....busy is a syndrome most people suffer from...given a chance everybody would like to be free and do nothing...yet get to travel and do everything that they want to...Freedom is at a cost...so my dear you have to face these ironic questions everyday...till the day you wish to live no longer and loose yourself in the myrad of craziness and translation...but truly? What is freedom?
If courage is to create a dream of your own...then Martyrdom is to follow it...Freedom is to experience the both...why? Dream we all do...but don't go down the path of it everytime...follow the dream...we all do...but it is almost everytime somebody else's dream...so when you think aloud about what you really see and that sight is something you follow...it's like a mirage...a water pump in the mid of desert...you get your freedom...but it comes at a cost...
look around the people whom you have heard about...MG followed it and was gunned down at a age when India was forming....Nelson mandela spent some 17 years in Jail....Dhirubhai Ambani/Warren Buffet spent some 20 years of thier youth to follow their dreams...
Freedom is an idea...an idea of your own self...it can't be created overnight...it's a chain of thought culminating in a feeling of long lasting selfishness....myself - I am still busy thinking about it...that's why don't disturb me more? when I get the answer I will tell you about it....

How you do it also matters

Last night was hilarious as only it can get....My wife has this amazing scare of cockraoches which instantly reminds me of Sreedevi's soul searching cry in Mr. India...Well - the story first ----
We had just touched down from a home shopping spree and cafe rendezouvous in Mocha...It was a rainy and a beautiful evening...
Alas, there it ended when we entered the Kitchen for keeping some stuff.. Priyanka cried out and in a second was on the adjacent Dining table as if some ghost from darkness has taken her over..I got scared and immiediately danced towards the window to run for cover. I shouted what the hell happened? and in a moment of looking through her eyes I realized it was the cockroach scare. Having spent last one year of my marriage (oh gosh it has been long!!!) killing these pesty idiots, I have become habituated by the idea of taking my slipper off and then just kill these antenna friends from my basement lab...This time I did the same - but it was yuck - it was a bloody affair with my kitchen slab resembling a shootout zone (ok - I am exaggerating a bit - ok a lot)...Then with pride as if a Man has just come back from a great hunt - I exclaimed - it's killed Honey..You can come inside. This time I really expected a thanks note atleast from her. I have been her saviour from the pointed eyes of small beast...What do you think I got?
She entered the kitchen and instantly made the worst nauseatic face I have ever seen... Ghosh...it was terrible - Life can make you yo-yo from hero to zero....
Lesson - Never kill a cockroach on Kitchen slab, run it down and then kill it with a spray or a mop...In this world of expectations, deed isn't the only thing which will make your woman take you as a hero...How you do it also matters....as always!!!

What the Hell

How many times have you cried out in life - What the hell?
I do it almost every other day...it is really becoming a habbit of mere frustation on traffic...on helpless condition of our cities....on somebody in office who will always want to escape work...
of somebody in a pub being a nuisance...of watching a bad movie...of listening to some idiotic review...of watching India lose from position of strength (wud be the most one)...of fight with someone you love....of watching everything go bad when it is not supposed to...list goes on...
Well - to tell you frankly - I have heard thousand of ppl say that take it easy and there is no hell...
Answer - shut up and just shout WHAT THE HELL? when u r angry...don't bottle anything...and let the bad wine flow out....easy...it helps me relax and forget that something bad happened which I could not control...so next time a btful gal in a downtrodden pub turns down your drink - say WHAT THE HELL and offer someone else the drink....wat say?

Love and it's pitfalls

One of the best lines I heard from somebody is that love is eternal...yes it is...but is love eternal or the person you love is eternal?
Don't know what it is but certainly one thing is clear - love is not ambigious...either it is there or not...I had thousand of crushes in my life...who doesn't?
But somebody reciprocated and I held on to it as it is love? What if she hadn't responded?
It would have been among my thousand crushes....Would I have then lived on with somebody?
Yes, Yes...I would have fallen in love again...then what is love?
Is it just a feeling of care for someone? I never believed in it...what? No...love is respect and admiration....as my wife would say - respect is earned and not forced on...then I ask her - is it so?
I asked myself one question - Do I respect myself?
I think I do...never let my emotions go through when I could have easliy allowed to...why?
The other thing was not worth the pain of seeing someone cry because of me...not allowing anyone to use me...nor giving anything to anybody which was less than my capabilites...Honour of doing everything honestly....Yes, sirs and Ma'm - I respect myself....
I love myself....everything around becomes wonderful...I can love anyone I want to...coz I know I will never dishonour myself...
Pitfall is when I admire someone - should I call it love again? Knock...Knock...